Do You Feel Bad About Feeling Sad?

Emotions are not actually Good or Bad

No emotion is inherently bad or good, they just are. And when we look a little deeper, we learn data that can be extremely helpful. What do I mean?

Well, we have emotions all the time. I teach people to increase their happiness set point, which is completely doable. In fact, I help people become happy for NO reason, or for good reason, but happy that’s not dependent on external circumstances.

As humans we do some things that may not be beneficial to us. One of them is that we have secondary feelings about our feelings. We judge ourselves for feeling sad or angry or stressed. We have a feeling, like sadness, and then we worry that we shouldn’t feel sad.

Instead, look at your feelings, like sadness, pause and go deeper to understand what is underlying that sadness. It could be that a friend hurt your feelings, or you did something that went against your values, or your dog is not well, or it’s been raining for a week. These are all very different reasons for feeling sad.

It’s valuable to recognize that you are sad because a friend hurt your feelings. And very appropriate! What can you do about it now? Maybe it’s time to arrange a conversation with them to share your feelings. These conversations actually help us build deeper relationships.

If you did something that was not in alignment with your values, it is good to know and recognize. Now you can make a better choice in the future. If it’s been raining for a week, arrange activities that might boost your mood. Connect with some friends and have a game night.

And if your dog or a friend is not well it IS sad. No wonder you feel sad. What can you do that might help you deal with the situation? Arrange to visit your friend, or have extra cuddles with your dog.

Happy for no reason is really just happy from the inside out, and does not mean walking around with a silly smile all day long. It means feeling a sense of centeredness and balance. And when we can pause and learn from our feelings, rather than judge them as bad or good, we can create habits that will benefit our overall happiness.

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