Empower Yourself, Just Say NO!

No Is A Complete Sentence!

I have talked about overwhelm before, and this is another great practice. Like the old drug adage, JUST SAY NO! We all, especially women, have the tendency to say yes to everything. We want to help and be liked. We do it even when it is not in our own best interest.

First, I want to pose the thought that when you say no to something that you truly do not want to do, it can actually be a gift to all involved. When we agree to something that is not in our best interest, we tend to feel stressed and even resentful. Does that serve your highest good? Does it serve the highest good of the other person? Probably not.

I was a people pleaser for many years until I hit a wall and something had to give. I was a mom with a stressful full time job as a Bond Trader on the floor of the Chicago Board of Trade. I juggled everything.

When I hit the wall and got some help, my counselor gave me a simple, but not so simple, assignment. I was to do something that I considered selfish once a week. And I was to say NO at least once a week.

By the way, NO is a complete sentence. So my assignment was to say no without explanation or excuse. Wow. That was hard. I could say “I appreciate that you thought of me, but I have to just say no right now.” This was totally out of my comfort zone.

And doing something selfish was out of my comfort zone. But these simple exercises changed my life. They helped me find myself. Before saying no, it required me to really think about what was being asked and if it was in my best and highest interest.

Up until that time, I didn’t want to let anyone down. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be the nice person. And I think part of me felt good that so many people “wanted” me. But I learned that just because someone asks you to help them does not necessarily mean any of these things.

I learned who my true friends were. And I started to listen to my own still small voice. Try it! It is freeing. And now it’s habit and so much easier.

et Happy Habits Community! 

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