FOGO: Fear Of Going Out. After Effects Of The Pandemic.

FOGO is the new FOMO. Fear of missing out.

We all have some form of collective PTSD after this last year, even those of us who have had it relatively easy. There are definite benefits and positives that have come out of the pandemic.

I am more appreciative of my family and friends. I am grateful for every moment I am able to spend with my kids and grandkids.

I have a love/hate relationship with Zoom. Love being able to connect, hate sitting for hours on a venue where I have to watch my own reaction and face. I love feeling even closer to my kids in many ways. We have had more serious conversations than ever before. We have talked about life, and lifestyle and what really matters.

I got myself certified as a Happy For No Reason trainer with Marci Shimoff and immersing myself in the science of happiness has been transforming and the best thing I could do during the last year. I have made new friends from all over the country and beyond thanks to networking opportunities on Zoom. I have learned lots of tech skills I never knew.

But I do feel a form of PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We have all been through collective trauma. Some more consequential than others. Many have had loved ones they have not been able to see because of distance or because they were not allowed into hospitals or facilities where their loved ones live. Kids have been subjected to online school which has stressed them out as well as their overworked parents.

We each have experienced our own levels of fear and worry that have been accelerated due to the pandemic. We have a politically divided country which has worsened and caused estrangement, anger, distrust, and even in some cases hatred. We judge more. I know I have been aghast at times by some of the craziness, and I was horrified by the January 6th invasion of our sacred Capital.

I have had my first vaccination shot and that feels good, but it’s also raising more questions in my mind about how I feel about getting back to some kind of normal. There are things I will probably never do again like blow out birthday candles, shake hands, or lick my finger to get the plastic bag in the grocery to open.

I find myself almost gasping when I am watching a movie and there is a crowd. Will I ever feel comfortable going to a big event again? I have never had a love of flying or airports, but will I ever feel even ok hopping on a plane? I am not normally someone who lives in fear and I have worked all year to continue that. But, some situations feel as though I may be more comfortable just avoiding them.

Are you more forgetful than usual? I heard that the science shows that even low level stress can affect your memory, at least for the short term. I tend to be outgoing and an extravert, but I feel like I am more and more comfortable being alone and I wonder if this is here to stay.

What about you? How are you feeling about going back to some kind of normal? Is that thought causing you excitement AND some stress? That’s how I feel. I want to feel less on guard at all times when I am out, but I wonder when I will actually feel that relief. I know people who lived through the depression years had lifelong residual after effects. Will we?

I get my second shot next week and for that I am grateful. But these are some things I have been ruminating about recently. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Betsy Smith, Certified Happy For No Reason Trainer and coach

betsyrsmith@mac.com

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